“Hey, Mom – remember the time when you made those meatball that were so gross even you didn’t eat them?”
Yes. I remember quite clearly, though I’m sure if I ever forget, the family would be more than happy to remind me Just like I’m more than happy to remind my mom of the time the oregano cover came off the jar while she was seasoning the meatloaf. You know something is bad when the dog walks away from it, too.
One time in college I had microwaved some pasta and sauce. What happened while I carried it to the table is kind of a blur. All I remember is pain and throwing the bowl in the air. I think I tipped it and massively hot sauce burned the palm of my hand? Maybe? Red everywhere. Floor. Ceiling. Table. Cabinets. Walls. TV. And I didn’t care, because I had cool water from the faucet soothing the burn. I did eventually clean it all up, though when we moved out a year or so later, I found splotches of sauce on the wall behind a bookcase. No books were harmed during the making of that meal.
Oh, I got more.
I don’t know my left from right, and apparently I also don’t know my front from back. I put a pot of water on the back burner and turned on the front one – which was playing host to a hot mitt. I went to throw something away, and when I returned, there was a small fire blazing on my stove top. Oy. I was able to pick up the mitt and dump it in the sink, but clearing the smoke was another issue – because of the wildfires burning outside. The air in the great outdoors was worse than the air inside.
I had my kids go to their room, opened the windows in the kitchen and turned on every fan in the house. It eventually cleared, but my lungs were not happy with me. Now I double-check when I cook something – or at least make sure my stove top is cleared of all flammable material.
One more. This happened in a restaurant a few years ago. My gang of friends decided to have Mexican for dinner. I wasn’t too fond of Mexican, and I don’t really like spicy food, but I didn’t want to be the one disagreeable person. Surely I could find something on the menu that I’d like. We sat down and the waitress put chips, salsa, and guacamole on the table.
I love guacamole.
I took a chip and scooped up a healthy serving of the guac and popped it in my mouth. Only it was green (and SPICY) salsa. Not avocado. At all. Ouch.
Okay, your turn. What awful things have happened to you in the kitchen? Were you the cause? Or a hapless victim? Tell me, and the one that makes me cringe or laugh or wince the most will win a $10 Bed Bath and Beyond gift certificate. Maybe to buy batteries for your smoke alarm.